Cords Penises and Joe Theismann

Did I really just hear Joe Theismann actually say "Well he must have seen something to cause him to pull it out of his pants"? That is funny shit right there. That is why I pay for satellite and something you would never hear come out of Madden's mouth. Though it should be in the Madden '08.

Wal-Mart's commercials about their HDTVs are making me suspicious. "Ours are substantially less than the competitors"? Yeah less because they will short out in half the time since they buy the ones that don't pass quality inspection. Bastards. I hate Wal-Mart. Hate'em hate'em hate'em.

School is finally getting to where I have to actually plan my time. Of course it is the last week and I have a take home final. But it is just review of everything we have already watched. He basically said it was persuasive essay and it will be how well we defend our answers not the answers themselves that he grades.

Bad beats & other reasons I'm insane

Ok, so the poker gods hate me this month. I get my money in good some jackass calls me with nothing and hits a 50 to 1 shot and knocks me out of another tournament. I have one hand stand up the last two weeks and am about ready to shoot myself. You've heard of lucky in love, unlucky in cards? Well it must be gonna get hot between the sheets soon, 'cuz I haven't done shit with cards recently.


And I have just been out of sync today. I just seem to be about a half beat behind every one else. And so does my computer. I type and it justs sits there. Weird.


Did anyone else know that East Moline was not a city in Illinois? Not according to the unemployment office. There is no unemployment data for East Moline.


I have just been stupid by my monkey. She clearly hasn't spoken to her mother who can never tell how much 3/4 of anything is. Damn it woman it's just like using quarters. IT IS FUCKING 3 QUARTERS!!!!! Ok I'm better now.


Great time at Robo-Chic's and TNT's last night. The Big Lebowski was funny and the Choose your own adventure movie was great. The food was awesome and it was sooooooooo nice to get out of the house without the kids and be with other adults and act like kids. Couldn't get used to the couch though. Wife woulda bitched the whole way home if I didn't sit next to her though.

& I don't know what I'm gonna do with that dog. If she doesn't stop peeing on the floor the wife might drown her in her own fluids.

Speaking of fluids, its sounds like the wife might be passing some right now. No more chili for her.

Mood rings or other celestial bodies

What is it about songs from your youth? Especially your formative years from like 14-19. You hear that when you fire up the car radio in the morning and your day is just set from there. You just can't have a bad day after that. You are immediately 16 again and the world is yours to conquer. And I am not talking about waking up to a cd or listening to your iPod on your morning jog. It has to be totally random. It's the spontenaiety that's the key.

Could it be that Heather Locklear gets hotter as she gets older?

Great day of college football today.

Can anybody explain to me why the wife likes to be naked? I swear I married a frakkin' nudist!!

I saw an early film with an actor in it that was one of his early works, but I'll be damned if I can remember what he played in. I can see his face and hear his voice, but I can't identify the show, AND IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inexorably, good word. My hat's off to Verne Lundquist.

Starz free preview weekend sucks. All they have is movies from 1991 and they show them in a 4 movie rotation. If you are gonna give me a free weekend at least give me something worth watching.

Are you ready for some football?!?!?!?!?!?!

People!!! Hello!!!

Football season is here, for us Cubs fans that usually starts around the 4th of July. Steelers and Dolphins kicked it off and it was a decent game. Now we get down to the real nitty gritty. My 'Boys are gonna have a slobberknocker with Jacksonville this week. It's gonna be great. Love football. Live it, eat it, breathe it, sleep it, have all kinds of nasty kinky sex with it. That reminds me, there was this one time either last season or the one before I was up watching NFL Gameday/Countdown/Kickoff whatever the hell they call the one on ESPN that year and the kids were sleeping for some strange reason late on a Sunday morning. Wife came over and for some reason I had a boner going and she said "OOOH!!! You do like football don't you?" She pulled my pants off me, sucked my dick for about 15 seconds then jumped on top and fucked me like nobodys business. We were getting it on and everyonce in a while you would hear Chris Berman yell one of his catch phrases. Kids slept through the whole thing. Kinda funny. Damn good nookie though..... We should fuck all the time during the game. There are some guys who would be against that, but dude if it was as good as that time she could bang me during the SuperBowl.

But I digress, if you wanna talk sex and football that equals Suzy Kolber and that is a blog unto herself, which I may do before this season is out. And I digress some more.............

Football, football, football. Love it. I think I may take the kids to homecoming next week. Probably won't get to stay long, but we'll see how it goes. Maybe I can convince them to stay until halftime when the band comes out.

And there are different styles of football. Sometimes you are in the mood for just a smashmouth grind it out beat the living shit outta the other guy game and sometimes you wanna see a whambamthankyoumaam here we score again gunfight.

Idiots and the people who hate them (namely me!)

Ok, whoever you bozos were who put comments on my blog that were links to some kinda spam crap knock it off!!!!!! I don't mind comments, please tell me I'm a moron or a genius or somewhere in between, what I don't want is someone trying to make a buck using my blog. If there is denero to be made here it's gonna come to me. & by the way I don't mind being like Chef in that episode of South Park with Elton John. No applause, just throw money.

Speaking of idiots, why can't people drive? I think it's pretty simple. Get in car, steer, push accelerator and brake. Somehow people can't handle that. I have also noticed that as the temperature plummets towards zero or climb above the century mark people get stupider.

I like the whole full circle thing on espn. I am biased because I like Colin and listen to him everday, but this format is going well, just needs some tweaking I think. It's just a little too fly by the seat of my pants, and that's saying a lot coming from me. Sky cam is cool, nuff said.

Ok it's official the monkey is mine. She wants to take lunch from home because she is not patient enough to wait in line. Just like her old man.

Are children's personality learned or are they genetic?

So to review all you dumbasses send money.