Christmas Blues

I think I am tired of Christmas this year, which is sad because it was always my favorite holiday. I feel like my Christmas was pretty much ruined this year. On the 19th my Grandma fell and broke her ankle, and let me tell you visiting a hospital on Christmas day is just depressing. On the 22nd I lost a friend, because I chose to remain friends with someone he doesn't like anymore. Now today on Christmas, the wife is sick, the kids are horrid, and the dog is in the way. I just wanna puke. I didn't care about the presents, didn't care about the food, didn't want to see my friends and family, I just want the time off work and hole up in my house and hide. Keep in mind that I have been diagnosed as mildly depressed anyway. I have made a couple of posts on Myspace and have had several friends tell me how much they care, which is alway nice, but even that made me feel worse rather than better. I don't know since I have decided to shun my Christianity that Christmas means less to me, or if it is just a poorly timed funk, or fatigue. I don't even hear the Christmas music in the stores. I tried the other day to look at people's faces at the grocery store to see if they were happy or angry and I saw the same faces I would see on August 15 or February 3. Maybe it's them, maybe it's me, maybe it's the time of year, but whatever it is I am not happy about it.