...'Cuz the nookie was good...

So the wife is always asking why I married her. And I tell her that I was horny and hungry, which drives her nuts, which is why I do it. I married her sorry ass because the was the most warm-hearted, caring person I ever met. She always puts everyone else first and is always concerned about their feelings. I barely notice my own feelings, except for when I'm pissed off. Just today, after spending the last 2 days puking, she is offered a piece of cake at work. She accepts it and eats it, cautiously. She doesn't want to hurt her feelings, even though a simple explanation of "I don't feel well" will get her off the hook. The thought would never cross her mind. She wants everyone to get along no how much we hate each other (and there are a few people who are on my shitlist).

She is wife, my rock, my reason for getting up in the morning and my reason for staying in bed. I love my little wife.

Christmas Blues

I think I am tired of Christmas this year, which is sad because it was always my favorite holiday. I feel like my Christmas was pretty much ruined this year. On the 19th my Grandma fell and broke her ankle, and let me tell you visiting a hospital on Christmas day is just depressing. On the 22nd I lost a friend, because I chose to remain friends with someone he doesn't like anymore. Now today on Christmas, the wife is sick, the kids are horrid, and the dog is in the way. I just wanna puke. I didn't care about the presents, didn't care about the food, didn't want to see my friends and family, I just want the time off work and hole up in my house and hide. Keep in mind that I have been diagnosed as mildly depressed anyway. I have made a couple of posts on Myspace and have had several friends tell me how much they care, which is alway nice, but even that made me feel worse rather than better. I don't know since I have decided to shun my Christianity that Christmas means less to me, or if it is just a poorly timed funk, or fatigue. I don't even hear the Christmas music in the stores. I tried the other day to look at people's faces at the grocery store to see if they were happy or angry and I saw the same faces I would see on August 15 or February 3. Maybe it's them, maybe it's me, maybe it's the time of year, but whatever it is I am not happy about it.

Harmony

Ok people I am tired. Tired of people who think they are better than me. Tired of people not wanting to get along. Tired of fighting life. Tired of constantly go uphill. There are people who think that their way is the only way. This is Dictionary.com's definition of harmony. There are people who need to pay attention to #4:

har·mo·ny /'h?rm?ni/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hahr-muh-nee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun, plural -nies.

1.	agreement; accord; harmonious relations.

2.	a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity.

3.	Music. a. any simultaneous combination of tones. b. the simultaneous combination of tones, esp. when blended into chords pleasing to the ear; chordal structure, as distinguished from melody and rhythm. c. the science of the structure, relations, and practical combination of chords.

4.	an arrangement of the contents of the Gospels, either of all four or of the first three, designed to show their parallelism, mutual relations, and differences.

Note that harmony is not multiple instruments/voices all singing the same note, it is multiple instruments/voices singing different notes. Harmony enriches music and enriches our lives.

I have straight friends, gay friends, bi, black, white, mexican, male, and female friends. They are all my friends. I see just those who share common interests and enjoy my company. They see me just as me.

I miss the simple days of my childhood. Colin Cowherd made a fabulous point this week on his show, "Compartmentalization is an adult trait. We are the ones who put limitations on each other. I can't hang with you, I'm a Eagles fan, your a Giants fan. I work for this company, you work for that company. I like Japanese art, you like Classic American. You know how my 6 year old daughter chooses her friends? She picks the kids who like to jump on the bed as much as she does. Wanna jump on the bed? Sure!!!" Amen brother. (See you guys think I'm just obsessed with sports, I get a lot of philosophy here and there too.)

Happy Holidays to those who care.

Now you're cooking with crisco

So for the last month I have had this strange obsession with cooking. Somehow I have convinced myself I am the love child of Emeril and Chef Boyardee. I have made (all homemade not out of a can) Ravioli, Swedish Meatballs, Baked Eggs, I made my own Marinade for my steak, Scalloped Corn, Stuffing. I have begun to watch the food network all the time. And God Forbid I miss Iron Chef. Surprisingly, no one has died or even got food poisoning yet. And I have yet to cut off an appendage.

Sweetness

Here are a few great sayings about sugar.......... (Yes you read that right I said sugar)

1. Pour some sugar on me
2. Ah sugar Ah honey honey You are my candy girl
3. I call. PASS THE SUGAR!!!
4. No sugar for you until you can feel you feet
5. Give me some sugar baby
6. He's got sugar in his pants. (Seriously, I did not make that up. Google sugar sayings.)

Speaking of Sweetness, I'm gonna give some love to the late, great Walter Payton. He may have been the best football player of all time, and from what I hear an even better man.

And the wife would be pissed if I didn't give her some love on this subject. :P

Furry woodland creatures and the true definition of Science Fiction

Oh dutiful readers it has been a long day.

I was redefined to day as and I quote "a rabid ferret trapped in a woolen stocking." I think that may fit. This is especially true before 10 am. Don't fuck with me early on. I don't like mornings and they feel the same about me.

So today's discussion at work was what is the true definition of science fiction. Let me be clear SPIDERMAN IS NOT, I REPEAT NOT, SCI-FI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is action/adventure. Saying a guy using mechanical arms makes a movie science fiction is like saying the Eagles are a country band because they released Lyin' Eyes. Or that because my dog ate a box of crayons and shit play-doh that she is an artist. It's like calling me a lesbian because I like women. (No offense to the gay community).

Trojans, Cheerleaders and other sources of enjoyment

What the hell is going on with college football this year? Take my advice and take the dogs. There has been chaos and carnage in the BCS system. The lower ranked team has been making mincemeat out of the favorites all year. Now we have Ohio St and *gasp, gasp* Florida in the title game. Michigan and USC will be a slobber-knocker, you have my personal guarantee on that.

So, we spent a lot of time with our friends from work this weekend. Our favorite Princess Leia and her daughter were gracious enough to let us overtake their home and keep our children overnight. Clue will always be one of my favorite movies. Man, I could watch that over and over. Leia Jr and her friend are cheerleaders and they proceeded to torture Medic's son all night. (To tell you the truth I would have given my left 2 lugnuts at age 12 for a chance to be alone with 2 cheerleaders in their room with the door shut.)

And what was up with the school closing Friday? Snowed overnight and I had it cleared by the time I take the kids to school. I am getting them out the door and the wife calls and tells me that school is closed. Now the monkey thinks everytime it snows she is going to get a day off. And when is it the wife's turn to stay home?