The latest wonderings of a crazy person

Why do they say 10 Million big ones? Isn’t it 10 Millions little ones? It’s 10 million ones. Now 10 million, 10 million dollar bills would be 10 million big ones.

You want interesting characters? Try baseball announcers. There are many that are funny. Even more that are interesting. But the best ones are the ones that are quirky. Yes Bob Uker, I’m talking about you.

TGIF = Thank God It’s Football season. I’ve missed the big hits, the cheerleaders, the excitement, the cheerleaders, the strategy, and oh, the cheerleaders.

I’ve got Bon Jovi’s “Bed of Roses” stuck in my head. And now you do too.

Speaking of Bon Jovi, What the hell was Ritchie Sambora doing? Uh, dude Denise Richards is a downgrade from Heather Locklear. She had kids with Charlie Sheen for Pete’s sake.

You’ve heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face? I’m considering cutting off my nose to spite my mucus glands.

Ramblings of a sane man in a insane world (or does that go the other way?)

Hola!!! I have returned after a too long hiatus.

Do you remember going school clothes shopping when you were a kid? Worst 48 hours of my year, every year. In case you don't know me, look up gangly in a dictionary. The picture of the kid there is me about age 10. Needless to say they didn't (and still don't) make clothes for tall skinny kids. Short fat kids? All over the place. Big and Tall? They have there own section. Short and skinny? Probably still in the kids department. Tall and skinny? Fuggedaboudit.

Why does the whirlpool at the they YMCA make so many bubbles? I guess why it is going to be drained this weekend. Personally, I make my own bubbles.

Speaking of making my own bubbles, my partner in crime is getting married next month. I'm sure both of us married has got be a sign of the Apocalypse.

So I'm taking this theater class right. Yeah yeah I thought the same thing. But it is actually kind of interesting. Plays, like music, help earmark certain periods in history. To see the evolution of man through the eyes and words of a few talented people throughout history does kind of strike me as remarkable. Many times they are writing about themselves, yet you still somehow think they are talking about you or someone you know.

By the way, work sucks ass. I have been described, by more than one person, as a ticking timebomb. Some unlucky bitch is going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time on the wrong day and BOOOM!!!!!!! Hiroshima in the ghetto.

Oh, in case you are interested I am typing all of this in my boxers.

So for this theater class our group project we are writing a script. The spirit moved me and out came a page and a half of intro. Maybe next week another couple of pages will find there way out of my fingers.

When you can't get it right, get out

All right you stupid idiots. Yes you, you dumbass voters for the Baseball Hall of Fame. I dare you to tell me how you didn't vote for Ron Santo. C'mon, I'm listening. Anything? You got anything? Isn't the Hall of Fame supposed to be about having a place to go see all of the greatest participants in your selected frame of emphasis? Leaving Santo out is like leaving Aerosmith out of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. They are not The Beatles, but they are great in their own right and deserve to be there. Same with Santo. He is like what the second or third greatest third baseman ever? Shouldn't the Hall of Fame include the top 5 or 10 at each position? What are you morons going to do for an encore keep out Buck O'Neill? Oh wait..............

Since you clearly can't get your act together about whom you deem worthy of entrance, let me give you a little hint. You're God complex is tiring. You keep out people, just because they didn't kiss the media's ass.

And Bud, don't think that I'm not pissed at you either. You are gonna get some scorn too. You are the freakin' commissioner. Don't give me "they are their own entity." Bullshit. What is your title again? Oh yeah. Commissioner of MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL. What are we talking about here? THE MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL HALL OF FAME. Sounds like it falls under your jurisdiction to me. If the office of the commissioner can use his power to keep out Pete Rose, then it can use it's power to put in Santo, O'Neill and all the others that belong in.

Hall of Fame voters need to quit. Turn in your ballots and let someone else take a whack at it.

I have returned

Can anyone explain to me what the point of cutting the donut in half is? Or why it's always the 450 lbs woman who cuts it? Look bitch, whole donut half donut your fat ass is still gonna need a shoe horn to get in and out of your office chair.

Words of wisdom from my 5 year old, you know the one who reads the NY Times. "You get what you get and don't throw a fit." Sometimes that kid just amazes me.

As the temperature drops so do people's IQ in Illinois and Iowa.

...'Cuz the nookie was good...

So the wife is always asking why I married her. And I tell her that I was horny and hungry, which drives her nuts, which is why I do it. I married her sorry ass because the was the most warm-hearted, caring person I ever met. She always puts everyone else first and is always concerned about their feelings. I barely notice my own feelings, except for when I'm pissed off. Just today, after spending the last 2 days puking, she is offered a piece of cake at work. She accepts it and eats it, cautiously. She doesn't want to hurt her feelings, even though a simple explanation of "I don't feel well" will get her off the hook. The thought would never cross her mind. She wants everyone to get along no how much we hate each other (and there are a few people who are on my shitlist).

She is wife, my rock, my reason for getting up in the morning and my reason for staying in bed. I love my little wife.

Christmas Blues

I think I am tired of Christmas this year, which is sad because it was always my favorite holiday. I feel like my Christmas was pretty much ruined this year. On the 19th my Grandma fell and broke her ankle, and let me tell you visiting a hospital on Christmas day is just depressing. On the 22nd I lost a friend, because I chose to remain friends with someone he doesn't like anymore. Now today on Christmas, the wife is sick, the kids are horrid, and the dog is in the way. I just wanna puke. I didn't care about the presents, didn't care about the food, didn't want to see my friends and family, I just want the time off work and hole up in my house and hide. Keep in mind that I have been diagnosed as mildly depressed anyway. I have made a couple of posts on Myspace and have had several friends tell me how much they care, which is alway nice, but even that made me feel worse rather than better. I don't know since I have decided to shun my Christianity that Christmas means less to me, or if it is just a poorly timed funk, or fatigue. I don't even hear the Christmas music in the stores. I tried the other day to look at people's faces at the grocery store to see if they were happy or angry and I saw the same faces I would see on August 15 or February 3. Maybe it's them, maybe it's me, maybe it's the time of year, but whatever it is I am not happy about it.

Harmony

Ok people I am tired. Tired of people who think they are better than me. Tired of people not wanting to get along. Tired of fighting life. Tired of constantly go uphill. There are people who think that their way is the only way. This is Dictionary.com's definition of harmony. There are people who need to pay attention to #4:

har·mo·ny /'h?rm?ni/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hahr-muh-nee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun, plural -nies.

1.	agreement; accord; harmonious relations.

2.	a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity.

3.	Music. a. any simultaneous combination of tones. b. the simultaneous combination of tones, esp. when blended into chords pleasing to the ear; chordal structure, as distinguished from melody and rhythm. c. the science of the structure, relations, and practical combination of chords.

4.	an arrangement of the contents of the Gospels, either of all four or of the first three, designed to show their parallelism, mutual relations, and differences.

Note that harmony is not multiple instruments/voices all singing the same note, it is multiple instruments/voices singing different notes. Harmony enriches music and enriches our lives.

I have straight friends, gay friends, bi, black, white, mexican, male, and female friends. They are all my friends. I see just those who share common interests and enjoy my company. They see me just as me.

I miss the simple days of my childhood. Colin Cowherd made a fabulous point this week on his show, "Compartmentalization is an adult trait. We are the ones who put limitations on each other. I can't hang with you, I'm a Eagles fan, your a Giants fan. I work for this company, you work for that company. I like Japanese art, you like Classic American. You know how my 6 year old daughter chooses her friends? She picks the kids who like to jump on the bed as much as she does. Wanna jump on the bed? Sure!!!" Amen brother. (See you guys think I'm just obsessed with sports, I get a lot of philosophy here and there too.)

Happy Holidays to those who care.

Now you're cooking with crisco

So for the last month I have had this strange obsession with cooking. Somehow I have convinced myself I am the love child of Emeril and Chef Boyardee. I have made (all homemade not out of a can) Ravioli, Swedish Meatballs, Baked Eggs, I made my own Marinade for my steak, Scalloped Corn, Stuffing. I have begun to watch the food network all the time. And God Forbid I miss Iron Chef. Surprisingly, no one has died or even got food poisoning yet. And I have yet to cut off an appendage.